Termination, retirement or part of a life plan; these residents are leaving UAE for good.<\/p>\n
Dubai: The coronavirus pandemic has thrown the expatriate life in the region into larger focus because of the uncertainty around jobs. Expatriates head home or to other countries for various reasons including redundancy, retirement or other life changes such as emigration. For most expats who have been here for years, UAE is home even though their passport says otherwise. Here are the stories of some expats who are saying goodbye to this ‘home’ and returning with hope, dreams and some fear of the unknown.<\/p>\n
After 31 years in the Gulf, and over 12 of those in the UAE, Mathew James* spent more than half of his life outside his country. The 57-year-old expat left home state of Kerala in India in 1989 for Yemen and brought wife Susan* along a year later. In 2012, the family moved to Dubai. The year of retirement for the couple, 2020, holds much trepidation, ironically the least of which is money. \u201cI have saved up some money for a small business or something to keep us busy, and I am not worried about that. We have always lived frugally and I believe we\u2019ll be fine in that aspect,\u201d James said.<\/p>\n
However, the couple agree that the bigger difficulty would be adjusting to social and cultural norms back home. \u201cAs an NRI, there is a certain treatment you get, you lose all that sheen when you retire,\u201d James laughed. This sheen, he claimed, would also excuse you from the rules you are \u2018supposed\u2019 to follow around relatives and neighbours. \u201cThere is always a certain way people expect you to act, and if you don\u2019t conform, you could face some back handed stuff. Not a great way to feel when you return home to rest,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n
Susan, who was employed for over 25 years as a nurse, is stressed about the fact that their whole life would now change. \u201cIt is almost like starting over again, this time in your own home town,\u201d she said. James and Susan have never lived for more than 3-4 months at a time in the house they built with their savings. This also meant not having to deal with nosy neighbours or answer pertinent questions from extended family about every place you go and every decision you make.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am hoping that we can settle in easily, and be happy with what we have. With our children educated, we can finally take a back seat, be at home and follow our passions,\u201d James said.<\/p>\n
Indrajit Gurung, from Nepal, had only good things to say about the UAE as he waited in a government COVID-19 isolation facility in Dubai. The 33-year-old had been working in the UAE for 7 years when his circumstances changed and he started considering leaving the country. To add to that, Gurung realised that he wanted to be closer to his wife, who works in Nepal.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am going to miss work, this lifestyle and of course, the salary, the entertainment options, being in Dubai has changed our life,\u201d he said. \u201cI love this country, you know, honestly,\u201d he gushed. \u201cBut I want to be with my family and go back home to my wife, it\u2019s been almost a year since I saw her and now I have decided to go back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gurung found work 7 years ago at a Starbucks caf\u00e9 and continued working there until things changed and he decided to move back. COVID-19, however, derailed Gurung\u2019s plans.<\/p>\n
He had gone for the mandatory PCR test required to fly home when the results came back positive. \u201cI was just unlucky, you know\u2026 I am now in a quarantine facility, I have four more days left to be here,\u201d he added. \u201cI can\u2019t believe this is free, this is a really good place and they are making me so comfortable,\u201d he said about the quarantine facility.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have learnt so much from working in a caf\u00e9, being around people and everything. I have, by the grace of God, saved some money which I want to invest in a small business \u2013 maybe a small caf\u00e9,\u201d the expat added.<\/p>\n
Gurung has a clear business plan in mind and has even picked out a location for his idea. \u201cMy area gets a lot of tourists, not so much right now, but once all these issues [pandemic] change, tourists will come back,\u201d he said. Up next for Gurung is another PCR test, which if negative, will allow him to book a ticket towards his future.<\/p>\n
Egyptian mom of three, Mona Zaki, has one recurring thought to share, \u201cAge is just a number, and it\u2019s just how you feel that matters.\u201d The 59-year-old and her husband plan to retire and return to Egypt, after 29 years in the UAE, but she said they never really planned for retirement in any sense.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy husband and I, we complement each other. He is a planner; he plans everything out for the long term. I am not like that. He is always prepared for any eventuality, and in case of a challenge he always makes sure we are covered. But we never used the method of actually saving for a retirement,\u201d Zaki said.<\/p>\n
What they did focus on, Zaki said, was investing in their children and their education. \u201cFrom the day we got married, we said to each other, our children are our investment. We will raise them to be independent, critical thinkers and then they can save and create a future for themselves,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Her husband planned that by moving the family to Canada for the children\u2019s education while making sure they saved equally for all three children to cover their education. The parents took advantage of the Canadian savings plan that allowed their educations contributions to grow over time giving each child a sizeable college fund.<\/p>\n
Speaking about what the \u2018right\u2019 retirement nest egg was Zaki said, \u201cAs you get older, medical expenses can rise. So I think the perfect amount can help you live a reasonable lifestyle, with options to enjoy life by a decent amount, you know occasional meals out or night out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe biggest thing is that your nest egg should be able to cover you for any unforeseen medical issues or any emergencies depending on where you live.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo be honest with you, I love this country so much. \u201cYou know, life is going to be very different in Egypt, we know that. But as you get older, your priorities change. Things come into perspective,\u201d Zaki said. Speaking about feeling bored or frustrated about \u2018retirement\u2019 and having no job, she said, \u201cI know my husband might get frustrated about the lack of activity but I don\u2019t believe that it should matter at all. You can always find new passions, new hobbies at any age or any time.\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe only thing is that you should not feel that age restricts you from doing anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
True to her words, Zaki started a business in Dubai in her mid-50s after arming herself with a qualification in interior design.<\/p>\n
Aged 49, in 2008, Lamona Ramos headed to Dubai and beating all odds found an admin job that matched her skills and her experience. \u201cIt may sound strange, coming here when I was older to try and find a job but my children were studying, one of them was headed to college. I knew I had to make extra money to invest in their education,\u201d Ramos said. The engineering company that hired her was an equal-opportunity employer, Ramos added and she remained with the firm throughout her time in the UAE.<\/p>\n
12 years later, both her daughters are gainfully employed, and the 61-year-old is planning to head back to the Philippines by next year for retirement. It was Ramos\u2019 daughter in Dubai who sent in her details to Gulf News. \u201cI am glad my children can see the sacrifices I made for them. Their education was my priority,\u201d Ramos said.<\/p>\n
Ramos said she built a home for herself while working in Dubai and she made sure to save for that after the children\u2019s school expenses. \u201cSo, when I go back, that\u2019s one thing I don\u2019t have to worry about,\u201d she added. Ramos has some savings which she plans to invest in a business, hopefully a small restaurant she said. She has also saved up in the Philippines\u2019 pension fund for OFWs which can help cover living expenses back home.<\/p>\n
For other OFWs who want to plan retirement she has one tip \u2013 save first after essential expenses. Make use of the pension fund and saving plans, she added. \u201cEven a small amount saved counts,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n
37-year-old Mary Claire Pike summed up her 9 years of UAE life experience in one sentence, \u201cI have accomplished everything I wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Calling UAE the \u2018promised land\u2019 for her, Pike said she first came to the UAE on a tourist visa sponsored by her sister, and managed to find a job at ADNOC through a contractual agency. Working in human resources, Pike then moved to an investment firm in Dubai after four years. However, she was let go after two years there. \u201cI have been blessed in that I found a job again in just one month after that,\u201d Pike said adding that she got into project management next where she worked for 3 years.<\/p>\n
Her decision to leave the UAE came after her husband got an opportunity in New Zealand last year and the family is in the process of emigration as permanent residents there. Pike\u2019s husband is in the nursing sector and they have one child.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am going to be with my family there, but I know my heart will ache for my family here,\u201d she said. Pike said her friends in Dubai would be what she would miss the most. \u201cI have so many friends, from all nationalities. My Emirati friends always check up on me and my Filipino friends too,\u201d Pike added. The native of Manila, Philippines added that she would be eternally grateful to the UAE for the years spent here.<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t have asked for more, I am making a graceful exit,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can continue that once I head to Egypt as my business partner is here. We can find new clients, new suppliers. Anything is possible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I found out that I had to leave my job, it was heart breaking,\u201d said Ismail Khan, a 30-year-old expat from Peshawar, Pakistan. Khan\u2019s wife and daughter were in Dubai with him at the start of the pandemic outbreak and he was able to send them home safely. Soon after that however, his employer, in the restaurant business, asked him to resign due to financial circumstances but gave him time to find another job.<\/p>\n
Faced with the possibility of being unemployed, Khan thought his time in the UAE was over. He wrote, as a reply to a Gulf News post, that he was about to leave. \u201cI thought I will leave, be with my family\u2026 but then by the grace of God, my plans changed,\u201d Khan said.<\/p>\n
Khan had a friend who had promised that in case of any trouble with employment he could reach out. This friend helped Khan by finding him a job at another caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo now, I will continue to be here,\u201d Khan laughed\u00a0in relief.<\/p>\n
The emotional, mental effects of such change<\/strong><\/p>\n Change \u2013 Fight or flight response<\/strong><\/p>\n “When dealing with a change in environment the brain will need to adjust to the change, which could encompass several sub-changes, e.g. location, climate, food, social environment, etc. Since the brain is always making sure that we survive, the brain will start by making hypotheses, or expectations i.e. predictions, about the receiving environment.<\/p>\n These predictions and the current state of uncertainty and unfamiliarity with the new environment will lead to stress, which can be only experienced physically (e.g. nervousness) but also cognitively (e.g. insecurity, doubts) or as a complex emotional reaction (e.g. anxiety, panic). Once in the new environment, the brain will create a fight-flight, or approach-avoid response in order to explore the context and assess and evaluate the expectations. If the expectations about the environment are met, adjustment will take place and the person will deal with the new situation as events happen.<\/p>\n However, if expectations are not met, usually because they were too high, then the brain may respond with sadness and depressive feelings (as a grief response over the old environment), or feelings of frustration and anger, which are all emotions that should stimulate the person to get to terms with the new environment and process the \u2018lost\u2019 environment.<\/p>\n In case of extreme changes, shock may ensue, a state in which the brain shuts down in order to take the time and energy to process the loss of the old and the conditions of the new environment. People may feel disoriented, nostalgic, rage and frustration\/anger or guilt, and depressive feelings. Clinically, these emotions are functional as they should motivate the person to explore and adapt to the new environment. However, if these emotions last too long (e.g. longer than 2 months, and\/or mood swings and negative thoughts do not recede, serious psychological disorders may develop.<\/p>\n First of all, one should prepare for the transition, e.g. by gathering information about the new environment and conditions so to form correct and realistic expectations. Planning is essential, so to maintain a sense of control, maintain commitment as well as a guideline to adjusting and the required steps to take. One should be mindful of the purpose of the transition, so to maintain hope and give the transition a positive meaning, and of course one should also look for the exciting things and benefits of the transition.<\/p>\n Should one suffer the emotional reactions of sadness or anxiety, one should always bear in mind that emotions in essence serve a protective function. So should sadness and depressive complaints ensue, one should seek support and comfort (e.g. family) but also grieve about what has been lost, and try to regain or recreate what has been perceived as lost in the new environment. Should emotional reactions however last too long, one should seek the help of a mental health worker or a social worker.”<\/p>\n “The emotional impact of moving is one among the many stressful situations that we experience in our lifetime. Being expected to move to a new environment without prior notice, starting lives fresh and leaving behind fond memories of their life in the UAE, can be overwhelming.<\/p>\n People develop attachments to their homes and communities that can be as strong as relationships with their families. Many of us try to spend a great deal of effort trying to avoid change and have certainty in our lives. Hence, when we are expected to face sudden transitions, it is quite normal for our internal stress response systems to go into fight or flight mode. This is our body\u2019s automatic mechanism to cope with unexpected situations which can seem beyond our control. As a result, we perceive the situation as frightening and overwhelming.<\/p>\n As people are exposed to situations that require decision making, it can lead to decision fatigue and exhaustion. Unable to cope up with the demands of these decisions, an individual can respond with heightened anxiety. This affects our ability to think clearly and focus on daily responsibilities which includes looking after ourselves. With an anxious thinking style, we are often pre-occupied with thoughts about the present and future.<\/p>\n We call this paralysis by analysis. We may be hyper-vigilant for changes and take the effort to plan in advance even when certain things are beyond our control. The more we operate with an anxious mind; we get attuned to behaving in that way. Anxiety could lead to even more serious issues such as depression, chronic fatigue, chronic pain and social isolation.<\/p>\n While there is no formula to preparing for situations and would depend on each individual, there are a few things we can do to prepare for such situations. Take the time to evaluate the situation in its entirety, which includes the pros and cons. Take charge of the change by looking at the positive outcomes from it.<\/p>\n Significant changes are often hard-won, with reversals and failures along the way. By seeing change as a journey, with bumpy patches as part of the terrain, it becomes easier to be compassionate with ourselves when we are not doing as well as we hoped. Learning to control your impulses and emotions, especially under stress can convey a confidence that translates into proactive resilience. Thinking with a calm and collected mind could help you transition smoothly into the next season. Be mindful of your stress responses and the tone of your emotional mind which says \u2018you will be doomed, you cannot cope, things will never be the same.\u2019<\/p>\n Replace negative self-talk with a positive internal dialogue, \u2018this is not what I expected. It is disappointing. I can get through this. This too shall pass.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\nPlanning is critical<\/h3>\n
Sudden changes are never easy<\/h3>\n
Anxiety, decision fatigue<\/h3>\n
This too shall pass<\/h3>\n